Talent Show Song!

This song was delivered in fine style in the evening at our last camp site on Friday May 11th. Yes, there were some red faces..but also a lot of laughter. Sung to the tune of Wild Rover by the Pogues:

1. There once was a bike ride from Cairo to Cape
30 plus idiots paid ten grand to partake
They pedalled from sunrise until they were dead
Then lay about wasted with legs full of lead

Chorus:
Please God no more cycling
No more red raw crotch pain
Let my legs have a rest
Let's do something else

2. There's Adrie from Holland who just wont give up
And Gunther from Belgium with talent galore
Andy from Canada farts all the time
Jan is an old guy who sneaks to the line

(Chorus)

3. Andy from Scotland has his ups and downs
While Alice from Joburg rarely ever frowns
Josh is a work horse who powers away
He grags his mate Douglas who bounces all day

(Chorus)

4. Secret liaisons have been common place
Just look round this camp for the very red face
Duncan and Lucette will get the first prize
For bonking in the dirt well before sunrise

(Chorus)

5. Then there are the couples who share a tent
I've been told not to mention there names in this song
Suffice it to say that their love is red hot
Old married couples they're certainly not!

(Chorus)

6. Adrie and Eva are tightly shacked up
Their nocturnal action has broken their tent
Miles and Rachel talk into the night
Dialogue peppered with squeals of delight

(Chorus)

7. There's also a young girl whose always on heat
She's famous for chasing a fresh piece of meat
Be careful when entering your sleeping bag
Inside it you might find a short dumpy dag

(Chorus)

8. Gunther's a Belgian with plenty of power
Cigarettes and alcohol he likes to devour
Sometimes he struggles to get out of his tent
But he'll still race you so hard that your bike ends up bent

(Chorus)

9. When needing a good laugh just go look up Sean
Known as "the baby" he was only just born
His wisdom will amaze you, though King Solomon he's not
A short conversation will show he's lost the plot

(Chorus)

10. Of course I must mention the TDA staff
Jack's accurate route descriptions make everyone laugh
If we get pissed off they're quick to contend
That Africa is supposed to drive you round the bend

(Chorus)

11. Elaine and Rachel are happiest when drunk
They both like a man with plenty of spunk
Give them a few drinks and they get quite rude
Sooner or later you can bet they'll be nude

(Chorus)

12. This trip has been tiring with way too much stew
More shitting in holes I just don't want to do
My bike shorts are worn out, my sperm count is low
Why the fuck I did this I really don't know

(Chorus)